5️⃣ Danish MEP Tells Trump to “Fuck Off”
A Danish member of the European Parliament delivered the most direct response yet to Donald Trump’s Greenland threats when Anders Vistisen told the chamber: “Let me put this in words you might understand, Mr. President: fuck off.” The Parliament vice president immediately censured Vistisen for offensive language, but the MEP defended his approach, saying “the only language that Trump understands is direct language.” Danish lawmaker Rasmus Jarlov went further, warning CNN that any U.S. invasion of Greenland would be “an act of war” that Denmark would resist militarily despite being outmatched. As Zev noted on the show, European frustration with diplomatic niceties that Trump ignores has reached a breaking point. Dean observed that we’re watching world leaders do “the unthinkable that they thought would not be possible six months ago” - standing up face-to-face to the Trump regime with a solid “go fuck yourself.”
4️⃣ Alberta Separatism Surges on Bannon Playbook
Massive lineups wrapped around community halls in Red Deer and Eckville as Albertans signed petitions calling for the province to separate from Canada, with the timing raising serious questions about foreign influence. The Alberta Prosperity Project needs signatures to trigger a referendum asking “Do you agree that the province of Alberta should cease to be a part of Canada to become an independent state?” Support for separation has jumped to 31% from 25% before the federal election, and the movement is using Steve Bannon’s “flood the zone with shit” disinformation playbook according to political analysts. Premier Danielle Smith’s government changed rules to enable the referendum even after courts declared the original question unconstitutional. Dean called it out bluntly: “Alberta’s not gonna separate from Canada, no matter how hard Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, try to justify the idea.” Former Deputy Premier Thomas Lukaszuk’s counter-petition supporting staying in Canada has collected 456,000 signatures, and some Alberta protesters have been seen carrying U.S. flags - a troubling sign of foreign coordination.
3️⃣ Mark Carney Declares “Old Order Dead” at Davos
Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney delivered a devastating assessment at the World Economic Forum, telling global leaders that the U.S.-led rules-based international order is over and middle powers must unite against coercion. “The old order is not coming back,” Carney told the chamber. “We should not mourn it. Nostalgia is not a strategy.” Using a powerful analogy from Czech dissident Vaclav Havel, Carney described how systems persist when everyone participates in rituals they know to be false, declaring “it is time for companies and countries to take their signs down.” He announced Canada just signed strategic partnerships with China and Qatar, ending years of diplomatic bad blood, and said he stands “firmly” with Denmark on Greenland. Dean was electrified by the speech: “Mark Carney stood up today and basically fucking detonated the Trump regime.” French President Emmanuel Macron followed with his own warning that “we prefer respect to bullies,” pushing the EU to activate its anti-coercion instrument that could restrict U.S. companies’ access to European markets worth $8 trillion. EU leaders hold an emergency summit Thursday to discuss $108 billion in retaliatory tariffs.
2️⃣ Markets in Freefall as Trump Chaos Takes Toll
Wall Street suffered its worst day since October as Trump’s diplomatic meltdown triggered a global flight from American investments. The Dow crashed 849 points, the S&P 500 fell 1.89%, and the Nasdaq dropped 2.12%. Ten-year Treasury yields spiked to 4.28% - the highest since September - as confidence in U.S. assets evaporated, while thirty-year yields hit 4.91% and the dollar collapsed 1%. The selloff came after Trump leaked private messages from French President Macron and NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte, posted AI-generated images of the American flag over Greenland, and threatened 200% tariffs on French wine. Analysts warned that “Europe holds roughly $10 trillion in U.S. bonds and equities” that “could be leveraged amid escalating trade tensions.” As Zev pointed out, this isn’t market jitters - it’s a measurable calculation: “When you hold $10 trillion in U.S. assets and the president threatens your territory, those assets become leverage. Trump just handed Europe the nuclear option.”
1️⃣ New York Times: Trump Pocketed $1.4 Billion
The New York Times editorial board published a detailed accounting showing President Trump has used the office to pocket at least $1.4 billion - an amount equal to 16,822 times the median U.S. household income. The breakdown includes $867 million from cryptocurrency ventures, $90.5 million from tech and media settlements with Amazon, Meta, X, ABC and Paramount, $28 million from Amazon for a Melania documentary, $23 million from overseas licensing deals, and a Boeing 747 from Qatar worth $400 million that Trump plans to keep for his presidential library. The Times noted that “this tally focuses on documented gains” and that “$1.4 billion is a minimum, not a full accounting.” The editorial warned that “when the aim of government shifts from public good to private gain, its constitution becomes an empty shell.” Dean summed it up perfectly: “The financial crimes will make his crimes against humanity pale in comparison.”
Today’s stories reveal the same pattern told five different ways: a president monetizing the office while European allies prepare economic warfare, markets price in American unreliability, and separatist movements mobilize using authoritarian playbooks.
The FiveStack is available as an audio podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. The FiveStack is a co-production of deanblundell.substack.com and narativ.org.
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