FiveStack Friday: Trump Hires Jeanine Pirro As US Attorney; A Shroom Advocate For Surgeon General; Surrenders to China in Trade Talks and Embarks on Crypto Grift Trip

The FiveStack with Dean Blundell and Zev Shalev counting down the Top 5 stories of the day.

It’s a proven fact: Life get easier, and you feel better, when you subscribe to Dean Blundell’s Substack or Zev Shalev’s Narativ. Subscribe to either one for 25% or the annual plans. Better still, subscribe to both and receive a multiplier karma dividend for supporting independent journalism and democratic values.

Get 25% Off Narativ's Annual Plan

Take Me To Dean Blundell

As US-China trade negotiations commence in Switzerland, the Trump administration is signaling weakness that undermines America's leverage. From judicial appointments to wellness influencers as top health officials, this week revealed a regime operating on incompetence while global powers forge alliances against American interests.

5️⃣ TRUMP NAMES PIRRO AS DC PROSECUTOR

Fox News personality Jeanine Pirro has been appointed as interim U.S. Attorney for Washington D.C., replacing Ed Martin whose nomination was withdrawn after Senate Republican opposition. Her past includes promoting election fraud claims that cost Fox News $787.5 million in the Dominion settlement.

"She is the same Jeanine Pirro who, if you remember, at the start of COVID, missed the first 15 minutes of her show, magically appeared, disheveled, slurring, and absolutely hammered on boxed wine," Dean noted during our conversation.

Pirro's appointment exemplifies Trump's approach to staffing critical positions - prioritizing loyalty over qualifications. With 23 former Fox News personalities now in administration roles, these appointments form a pattern where personal devotion trumps competence. As Zev observed, "She's the person who's responsible now for prosecution, for making indictment decisions... The entire insurrection, 1,600 cases - that all came out of Washington D.C. And now she's the person responsible for that."

4️⃣ WELLNESS INFLUENCER NOMINATED FOR SURGEON GENERAL

Trump's nomination of 37-year-old Casey Means as Surgeon General has shocked the medical community. With an inactive medical license since 2019 and an incomplete residency, Means has built her career as a wellness influencer promoting supplements to her 765,000 Instagram followers.

Her wellness approach includes unconventional methods like seeking relationship advice from trees and "manifesting a husband with shrooms and meditation." In her own words: "I hiked alone and talked literally out loud to the trees, letting them know I was ready for partnership and asked them if they could help."

Even former Surgeon General Richard Carmona criticized the nomination: "In every previous surgeon general, they've got the license, they've gotten the residency, they have at least some leadership ability that's scalable. We don't see any of that here."

3️⃣ TRUMP SURRENDERS TO CHINA BEFORE TRADE TALKS

As Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Trade Representative Jamieson Greer prepare for negotiations in Switzerland, Trump has already undermined their position by publicly floating tariff reductions from 145% to 80% - a major concession before substantive talks have even begun.

Swiss Economy Minister Guy Parmelin revealed: "We could imagine everything – we could imagine a mutual suspension of customs duties during the course of the discussions." This surrender of leverage comes at the worst possible moment - the U.S. economy contracted 0.3% in the first quarter while China's targeted retaliation with 125% tariffs inflicts maximum pain on vulnerable American industries.

The timing couldn't be worse as Chinese President Xi Jinping openly displays his partnership with Putin while ignoring Trump's calls. As we discussed, "Chinese officials are putting Trump regime officials on hold for extended periods of time... playing Joe Biden speeches."

2️⃣ PUTIN AND XI SHOWCASE "UNBREAKABLE" ALLIANCE

Chinese President Xi Jinping attended Russia's 80th Victory Day parade alongside Vladimir Putin, signing a declaration to "further deepen" their comprehensive strategic partnership. Their public display of unity comes as they position themselves against Western influence.

"When I watch this stuff going on in Red Square today, I wonder if we're being played," Dean reflected. "I wonder if this whole tariff thing with China is just a ruse."

While officially described as "unbreakable," analysts note the relationship is increasingly asymmetrical, with China emerging as the dominant partner as Russia grows more dependent on Beijing amid Western sanctions. The leaders outlined economic cooperation through 2030, including the delayed Power of Siberia 2 gas pipeline - a sign of their deepening ties as America's global influence wanes.

1️⃣ TRUMP PREPARES FOR MIDDLE EAST GRIFT TOUR

Trump's upcoming four-day trip to Dubai, Saudi Arabia, and Qatar represents the most brazen monetization of the presidency yet. While telling Americans children should have "two or three dolls instead of 30" due to tariffs, Trump is openly selling access to himself for millions.

The UAE announced a $2 billion investment using Trump-affiliated digital coins ahead of the visit, while Eric Trump recently announced plans for new Trump-branded hotels and towers in Dubai at a cryptocurrency conference.

"This is just the most brazen monetization of the White House that you will ever see," Dean observed. "You don't have to pay tribute to him in Washington. You can pay tribute to him and bribe him anywhere in the world. And here's the catch - it is totally untraceable."

The upcoming Dubai trip may serve as a summit for crypto interests tied to Russian and Chinese financial players, further entangling Trump's personal business with geopolitical maneuvering against American interests.

As we concluded, the convergence of cryptocurrency, autocratic alliances, and Trump's self-dealing points to a dangerous new reality - what Dean called "watching the mobbing up of America" with "Donald Trump as the biggest mobster in the world, and crypto is the game."

Thank you

, , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

Get more from Zev Shalev in the Substack app
Available for iOS and Android