🎂 Happy 53rd birthday to Dean Blundell, the birthday boy of the FiveStack. To celebrate, Dean opened the show with a meditation on minimalism, the hedonic treadmill, and why Donald Trump is a cuckoo bird who kicks everyone out of the nest. “Nero had everything. He was buried with his donkey. We are months away from watching Donald Trump get buried with the donkeys.” That’s the birthday energy we’re working with today.
5️⃣ Bondi’s Burn Book: DOJ Surveilled Lawmakers
AG Pam Bondi walked into yesterday’s five-hour hearing carrying a binder with a printout labeled “Jayapal Pramila Search History” — every Epstein file the congresswoman had searched on DOJ computers. The Department of Justice tracked what lawmakers were reviewing, then handed the intelligence to Bondi to use against them on live television. Jayapal nailed it: “Is this the whole reason they opened the files up to us two days early? So they could surveil members to see what we were going to ask?” Bondi spent the hearing attacking everyone who asked a question, calling Raskin a “washed-up lawyer” and Massie a “failed politician.” Behind her, Epstein survivors raised their hands when asked if the DOJ had contacted them. Not one had been. Bondi wouldn’t even turn around to look at them. Rep. Jasmine Crockett delivered the line of the day: “Let me say thank you for having more courage and moral clarity in your pinky fingers than the entire Department of Justice.”
4️⃣ House Votes to Repeal Trump’s Canada Tariffs
The House voted 219-211 to repeal Trump’s tariffs on Canada, with six Republicans crossing the aisle. Trump threatened them in real time on Truth Social during the vote: “Any Republican that votes against TARIFFS will seriously suffer the consequences come Election time, and that includes Primaries.” It’s symbolic — Trump vetoes it — but as Dean put it, “you’ve got people that have basically said, yeah, go fuck yourself.” Harry Enten’s research shows 70 percent of Americans view Canada more favorably than their own president. Six months from midterms, Republicans won’t break with Trump on democracy, but they’ll break with him on your wallet.
3️⃣ Homan Declares Victory, Ends Metro Surge
Tom Homan declared Operation Metro Surge over — mission accomplished. The cost: two U.S. citizens dead, Renée Good and Alex Pretti, both killed by federal agents. Two of the three homicides in Minneapolis in 2026 came at the hands of immigration agents. Governor Walz: “I will come over and pack your damn bags if that’s what it takes.” Homan cited arresting 200 protesters as a win without mentioning a single criminal apprehension — the entire stated premise of the operation. Dean called it: “You take a loss and you tell everybody that loss is really a win. That is Trump 101.” Minnesota refused to back down, and Homan is leaving town.
2️⃣ Canada Under Siege
The tariff vote opened a broader conversation about MAGA’s campaign to break Canada apart from the inside. U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra — a Project 2025 author who was kicked out of the Netherlands for organizing far-right movements — is actively stoking Alberta separatism, where 29 to 31 percent now support leaving Canada. The Save America Movement launched ads warning Albertans about Hoekstra, with Dean calling it “the same thing that preceded the war in Ukraine.” Prime Minister Carney’s emotional response in Parliament showed a unified Canada that Dean said he hasn’t seen matched in the United States.
1️⃣ Pentagon Readies Second Carrier for Iran
The Pentagon ordered a second carrier strike group to prepare for the Middle East. The USS George H.W. Bush could deploy within hours to join the USS Abraham Lincoln already in the region — two strike groups pointed at Iran for the first time in nearly a year. This on the same day Trump sat with Netanyahu for three hours at the White House. Dean shared a story from Iranian state television claiming the Trump regime proposed a staged mini-conflict: “Hit a couple of areas, we go we won, and we’ll let you continue doing your stuff.” Whether true or not, it captures the performative nature of everything this regime does — fake strength masking real weakness.
The FiveStack closed with a shared conviction: what we’re watching is a mirage collapsing. Fifteen countries are now investigating the Epstein network. The Bondi hearing imploded. The cracks in MAGA are showing. As Zev put it: “This is a takeover that can be shrugged off and it’s a takeover that will be defeated.” In the words of the Big Lebowski: this will not stand, man.
The FiveStack is available as an audio podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. The FiveStack is a co-production of deanblundell.substack.com and narativ.org.
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